Well, this is my blog. Please use the menu links above to navigate this site.
I am not a professional writer, nor am I an avid or seasoned blogger by any means, I just needed a place to share my ideas and thoughts for you to read. Maybe it will spur conversation.
What is it all about?
This page will contain a bit of everything, I may write a story one day, I may write my opinions on various topics another day. You’ll find deep thinking ideas, some will make perfect sense; others, no sense at all. I think everyone is entitled to an opinion and I like to see everyone’s point of view. Leave a comment!
The ghosts came after we left. We didn’t even know they were waiting. Now, all we have is what’s in front of us. Because what’s behind is nothing but vapor. Illusions of a past reality. They didn’t care, these ghosts. Something had to fill that void… After we left.
He sat at the table of the hotel’s second-floor dining room, looking out the picture window toward the city beyond. He remembered how many times he had seen this view but never could get used to it. Sipping the last drops of his already cooled coffee, he gazed at the empty booth seat across the table from him, imagining someone special sat there smiling.
Hotels never felt like home, but often familiar. Like the token ice machine in the hall by his room, the gentle crash of fresh ice tumbling into the reservoir echoing through the hallway; or the coffee station by the reception desk that served generic brands of coffee and tea which always tasted a bit weak. It was as if every hotel had figured out that guests essentially needed ice and coffee to have a comfortable visit, not necessarily in combination with each other.
His travels brought him a longing for consistency and predictability — the very things most people try to escape for lack of excitement. He’d be more than willing to trade places. The road took a toll on him and wore down his desire for adventure after realizing how plain everything had become. Maybe he just didn’t like to explore too far from the hotel room in his off time. Maybe he was waiting to share the adventure with someone who would never show up.
He reached into the breast pocket of his ivory-colored shirt, pulled out a five-dollar bill, unfolded the crease and rested the coffee cup on it, then got up and left.
I embraced a thorny hedge, and it stung me. I kissed fire, and it burned me. I walked hand-in-hand with joy, and it slipped away. I pursued desire, but misdirected. Now I sit in a wilderness, A stranger with no home. Empty hands, Empty heart, And a will To stay alone.
Embarking on a monumental, life-changing journey involves a beginning—a moment where the decision is made to pursue something—and an end, whether it be any form of monetary or material gain, or simply death itself. Whatever the end may be, we are sure to find the beginnings difficult and tedious, and the task itself challenging throughout, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
If one subscribes to the opinion that the pursuit of something great is impossible due to perceived shortcomings, then one might as well say that gravity is too strong to even arise from the bed. Absurd as it may seem, since we rise each morning to face the new day’s challenges and delights, we don’t lock ourselves in bed and refuse to move. Yet, when we wish to achieve something, we often forget the challenges and perseverance required.
I am reminded of the book of Ecclesiastes, where Solomon writes, “Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.” So often, we take pride in our works and pursuits to the point of defeat when they go unrecognized, causing us to abandon them. I’m guilty of this on more than one occasion.
Solomon reminds us that pride and recognition are not the goals. Instead, there must be a fundamental driving force that spurs not only the initial pursuit but also the drive to see it through to fruition.
What a shame it is to pursue something solely for the sake of fame or popular acceptance, driven by the praises of others or material rewards alone. In the midst of cheers and celebration, we lose sight of the goal, and our pursuits end as dead as they were before they were conceived. What was it founded in?
It’s so disappointing nowadays to expect instant answers and immediate results, and to believe we can leave the striving to someone lesser deserved. How foolish that is. Patience and perseverance are where growth takes place, and they should be embraced along with the suffering and striving.
Let’s reframe our pursuits to fit godly goals and forget the deception of false praise and support from those who would leave you for dead had you chose a path not aligned to theirs.
“It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.”
Mourning reminds us of the transient nature of life. When we mourn, we realize that life is fleeting and elusive, and oh so delicate. Even enjoyable and memorable moments can be curiously elusive, yet mourning and grief can feel interminable. There’s a desire to go back in time, maybe change the circumstances, or to see that loved one just once more, yet these longings can be transformed from bitter sadness into joyous gratitude.
Consider what Solomon means when he writes, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting.” How can it be that happiness is found in sorrow and not in joy? What can be found in grief that we should count as joy? Perhaps our lack of wisdom lies in clinging to what we believe gives us joy rather than letting it go when the time comes, valuing the good times over the bad instead of welcoming both teachers into our lives. This involves an awareness of life’s fragility, taking a wider perspective on life and death, beginnings and endings, and how they relate beyond our initial perception of them. Accepting life for what it is and truly embracing the ebb and flow can bring us contentment and peace.
Alan Watts once said, “All clinging to life is an illusory hand grasping at smoke.” What could he have meant by this? Have you ever tried grasping a wisp of smoke? Now try it with only your imagination—impossible, right? Consider a photographer capturing a moment on film, then developing it and framing it. It could be a moment so precious and valued. However, the picture isn’t the moment, the memory isn’t the moment; the moment has passed. There is no way to hold onto it forever and stay in perpetual joy. And who would capture a mournful moment on film and seek to cherish it just as equally? It would seem necessary for a moment to be just that—momentary.
As we progress through life, we can learn to value both joy and sorrow the same, taking note of the lessons learned while experiencing them. Just as smoke slips through our fingers, so do the moments of life. Mourning helps us appreciate the impermanence of life and the importance of cherishing each moment. Warren W. Wiersbe writes in The Bible Exposition Commentary, “Laughter can be like medicine that heals the broken heart, but sorrow can be like nourishing food that strengthens the inner person.” So there really isn’t a requirement to take all sorrow for joy and vice versa, but to respect both and recognize their roles in shaping our journey. Embracing the full spectrum of our experiences allows us to grow and find deeper meaning in life.
At the end of Ecclesiastes 7:2, Solomon writes, “for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” He is calling for balance in seeing death and cherishing life. Psalm 90:12 reads: “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” There should be a healthy respect for death and an appreciation for life, especially a life well lived. We are not to dwell solely on death, but to recognize it as a necessary part of life.
Take sorrow and grief; hold them close. Shape them into joy for that moment brief; make peace with yourself and set them free. Tomorrow the sun will rise again, last night, no more to be.
The dining room looks different this time, the furniture has changed, and the layout unfamiliar.
I was surrounded by broken glass, the lamp above my head had fallen and there was shattered glass on the floor and surrounding furniture. There’s more glass debris than there should be in this room. I tried cleaning it up, scooping up bare handfuls of it being careful not to clench my grip. I could feel the jagged edges making their attempt to break through my palms, I sprinkled the glass on the table next to me with an urge to dust off my hands but afraid to rub more glass into them. I managed to get the larger pieces cleaned up but the glass shards on my hands were a nuisance, from large pieces to tiny hair sized slivers. Some of the glass had gone under my skin and I was frantically pinching my palm to get them out, but every time I tried, the larger pieces broke into smaller ones which worked themselves deeper into my hand. Some pieces I was able to extract only to have them get stuck on the fingers I used to remove them.
I tried to escape this glass hell by walking through the room and out the door, my shoes were nowhere to be found. Glass crunched under my feet and between my toes making me ever so uncomfortable. I held my glass covered hands in front of me like a zombie so as not to touch anything else. There was a party going on outside with people I knew from the past all gathering together and having a good time. They were laughing and smiling, drinking and eating. They ignored me and my situation, as if I wasn’t even there. I made my way back into the house, to the bathroom, turned on the water and examined my hands again. A thin, jagged shard of black glass had worked its way into the pad of my right thumb. I pulled out the exposed pieces but it would fall apart so easily, and with every attempt it would move deeper under the skin. I panicked as the dark opaque mass crept deeper under my skin. I pressed on the skin around the glass like I was popping a pimple, hoping to force the stubborn shard out, and even though I could squeeze out a couple of tiny slivers, it kept breaking apart and going deeper. I felt hopeless and panicked until…
